User:Varraka Uhraka

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Character details

"DINNER TIME!"
Name	Varraka Uhraka
Gender	Undisclosed
Race	Minmatar
Bloodline	Brutor
Licensed	15.10.108
Corporation	Vard School of Cryo Cuisine
Occupation	Advanced Panda Cake Professor, Mutations Distribution Expert
Specialization	Smaktalk Meatpie Specialist

About Varraka Uhraka

One dark rainy day long ago deep within the confines of Amarr territory this Brutor fell from the womb of slave. A glimpse of her bloody ankles and the smell of the muddy floor and he was taken from what little family he had. Torment and suffering sustained this poor lad as he was forced by slavers to start work at the age of 2. For years Varraka, held at laser-point, partook in the most heinous of jobs.. .He started by bashing rocks, then moved on to bashing steel, he became so good at bashing stuff his masters forced Varraka to bash skulls in the weekly slave pit tournament. This went on for years and there seemed like there would be no end to the list of bodies Varraka Uhraka had broken,, Then one day Varraka's slave driver offered him the chance of his lifetime. To fight one last time in a tournament to the death. Not only would Varraka become the most notorious slave fighter, but as part of the tournament he would be set free and given a exotic dancer slave as a reward. Varraka entered the pit with 13 of the most god-dammed evil sons a bitches slavers could find. It did not matter to Varraka however, as he proceeded to pound in skulls like a dinosaur stepping on an egg. It was down to two men when someone from the audience through a grenade into the pit, tearing the flesh from Varraka's belly. This only infuriated Varraka and when he woke from his beserker rage he came to the grim realization that he had strangled the last contestant with his intestines and had proceeded to lay waste to the arena, and everyone inside it. Opening the gates to the arena revealed that he was not on a planet as he had hoped, but an Amarr leisure carrier. The crew, terrified of the bloodstained beast that stood before them begged for their lives, and some were spared, but only long enough for Varraka to learn the basics of flight. "muttering the only good slaver is a dead slaver" Now that Varraka had a taste for freedom he would never let it go, his coffee on the other-hand slipped from his palm and short circuited the main control board causing the ship to crash land on a remote planet in Vard.

The crash landing revealed a secret stash of slaves that were locked away in a cargo hold.. These slaves viewed Varraka as a hero and tried to build a town in his name.. But alas the planet they were stranded on had only 2 things in abundance, Cannabis and Volcanoes. So after weeks of starvation the freed slaves had no choice but to start eating each other in a delirious state of intoxication. Varraka had once again become feared amongst those closest to him as he trained vigorously in cannibalistic cooking skills, often screaming out DINNER TIME instead of hello.

A very long time went by and there was only Varraka and a former slave by the name of X3S left on the bloodstained rock of a planet. Varraka was seconds away from making it a solo trip when suddenly a scientist by the name of Xi ia found them. She was studying the advanced t.h.c chemicals the plants in Vard were producing and was more than happy to help these lost souls get back into space. After trials of insanity whilst starving with slaves in a desolate wasteland he joined the Republic Fleet to pay back all years lost. "The only good slaver is a dead slaver." Varraka fought savagely end the existance of all Amarr territory free`n slaves once and for all, but had been demoted from special forces to janitor because of excessive use eh clone technology and health regulation violations. This was unnacceptable so Varraka quit.

Soon after he joined the Syoid and became a notorius slaver killer, ousting X3s as ceo and ceeding controll of the rogue terrorist cell. Everything was going to plan untill the League of Illigitamate Nigirian Buisnessmen used a pyramid scam to steal the corps Space station.. The infuriated ranks of the Syoid revolted, internal strife was rampant and Varraka demoted himself to Janitor. This was unacceptable so Varraka quit..
Bumbling in space this way and that, Varraka with no home lay`d heavy on the drink. So much so that he became a full fledged Mobile Alchohol Proccessing Unit. Drunken rambling became a source of comfort for the brute as he learned how much easier it is to drink and fly than drink and drive. With AA not present in this galaxy Varraka and his clones tiptoed back over the edge over a drunken deli-tray dispute. This incident led Varraka on a Universe-wide search of a corprate mapu member, in hopes to add some new slices to the tray. Drunk on Drunk fighting as funny as it is was not acceptable under Drunken Legislation so Varraka was demoted once again... 
Then almost as a sign from the great meatpie in the sky, Varraka got targeted by an unlikely charector, Outlaw Jenner. With promises of no less than 3 wars at any given time Varraka happily filled out an application and became part of the Missfits. Streams of frozen biomass filled the black mass of space as Varraka and the Missfits deliverd the goods. Like a cancer on eve they waged war on everyone from helpless miners to massive alliances with a no-holds bar attitude matched only by that of death himself. Smaktalk filled local channels adding never before seen levels of harrasment and petion. This got to such a level that the Missfits themselfs almost imploded into a giant mess of bio-mass... This was also the time the great war broke out between factions. Varraka saw no choice but to go back to his roots and continue the slaughter of the Amarrian empire...
With fake Id in hand, Varraka re-applied for work with the Republic Fleet and once again hunted the Amarr from every dark corner in the universe. Using his hacking techniques he took sensitive documents from the archives of the Republic Fleet and learned a little more of his past. 
       "(Amarr Slaver Compound 1032 / Stardate Log 32001/13/49): A accident occured today between Breeder Slave cage 309 and Arena Pit Tiger cage 82. It seems the janitor, while cleaning cage 309 accidentaly opened the gates to Tiger cage 82 and  a rampage ensued. We now have reports that 1456 Breeder slaves have perished and one, mysteriously has been impregnated. Slave id 734912309 will be tranferd to birthing facilities immidiately."
Varraka cross refrenced his old slave id number and found that slave 734912309 was in fact his mother. Varraka took old news clippings of what he believes to be his tiger father right before he was shot in the cage and pastes them all over his pod. Infuriated with the new news he joined the Infused Knights and flew alongside old friends like Teddy Tazer killing as many Amarr as possible... Then as Varraka planned to generate a black hole in Jita, Infused left Fleet Warfare and were about to take on Caldari defence contracts. This was unacceptable so Varraka quit....

Then like an act of God he ran into PopeJohnPaul500 who offerd to teach him zesty cooking skills. That day he finally learned his true calling. Stirfry 101. "To become Zesty is to hold thoes wonderfull recipies in celebration and share the flavor with the known universe." - The Pope