Hearts And Minds Alliance (Player alliance)
Hearts And Minds Alliance
Smiling Friends Social Club EVElopedia SFSC article
Hearts And Minds Alliance Hearts And Minds Alliance Website
Spy Stuff. Destruction or protection according to your prediliction Information. Knight in Secret Armor or Intraspecies Predator, Psychological Warfare. Thievery, Cons, Security, Protection. Playing parts. Truth. Deception.
Welcome to the labrynth, the laboratory. Our Smiling Tar Baby. It has been prepared for you to play in and play with. Join us or infiltrate us. It'll be fun.
Smiling Friends Social Club Is the Executor Corporation of the H&M Alliance
DO NOT APPLY TO THIS CORPORATION. THIS CORPORATION IS AN ADVERTISING DEVICE. TALK TO PRAXIS ASTRA.
Training Manuals, Books
Neurotechnicon - A Manual. The Meta game of EVE. Playing EVE "against" yourself and "against" others. Destroying EVE corps and alliances.
The Technocrat - The Creation, Care, Expansion, Manipulation and Management of EVE Corporations and Alliances
Link to an excellent guide for brand new players by Praxis Astra
Corporation Security EVElopedia article about corporation security
Voice Comms EVElopedia article about corporate communication
Or Join our public channel
Hearts And Minds - Mental Martial Arts
All classes are on a one-on-one basis unless participants already know each other. Payment for classes is ISK, or services rendered BEFORE class. Praxis is nothing if not willing to negotiate.
Why your opponents are frequently more entertaining and useful than your friends. Step by step Praxis shows you the often overlooked rewards of doing benevolent things for your enemies and horrible things to your friends.
Keeping Your Brospective
The affectionate side of working towards the complete destruction of the hard work of players you know you'd enjoy hanging out with in the Real World.
Lay Back And Enjoy It
Inflicting Agony on players for your own amusement can be even more enjoyable if you harness your natural empathy for your victims for a masochistic thrill hard to find anywhere else. Praxis Astra tells you how to achieve such win-win scenarios. (Some assembly required....)
Their Own Medicine
Any megalomaniac worth his salt knows to work smarter not harder. Checklists to help you determine which fears and flaws apply to your target organization and its members. You will receive a copy of the same matrix Praxis uses (almost) at the conclusion of the class.
Unspoken agreements. Fears of conflict within the group. Knowing which bad habits a group forces all its members to adopt. Identifying the one element of a Board of Director's groupthink that best turns the screw on the entire group. It doesn't matter what they call their government. We know there's only one form of government.
Homoeroticism In EVE
All primates are capable of bonding emotionally and sexually with other members of their own species regardless of gender. The more "completely straight" your target is the more completely you can operate in this territory with impunity since, by definition, this territory does not exist. We will show you how to play different parts for different targets. The Big Brother. The Little Brother. The Father Confessor. The Buddy Who Would Never Touch Any Part Of You But Your Mind And Heart....Unless You Wanted It. My favorite variation of which: Your New Best Friend You Never Even Knew You Ached For
Uh oh. It Worked. What Do I Do Now?
Prerequisite: Homoeroticism in EVE
Heteroeroticism In EVE
Ever notice how so many otherwise intelligent charming and attractive guys start acting like idiots when there's even one woman in the chatroom? If you can convincingly fake a female voice, or in any way convince the players that you are a biological female you can go from water boy to She Who Must Be Obeyed in two shakes of a lambs tail. Aspects of your character's female or male portrait. How to play a character with a male portrait and "confide" to your special friend that you are in fact a female and gain the best effect among a group of players each of whom thinks that he is the special one you told and how he protects you with his silence from those other guys who would be jerks if they knew....... (NOTE: This class is NOT open to biological females who already know all about it already.)
Getting Into Character
This is grueling stuff. Its psychodrama. Effective if you approach it with a certain intent. You want to drag through the jungles of your personality for red eyed beasts licking their razors clean as they reach for you, this is a good way. There are a number of outlooks on life to adopt that I have found useful. Played correctly, they can be used to give your EVE character that extra spice to keep you alert during even the most tedious CTA.
Giggling Psychopath: Hihihihihiiiii! He wuzza funny. Eyes all wide. Ahhahahahahahahahaaa!
Chilly Avenger: All they had to do was leave me/us/him/her/them alone.
Twitching Paranoid: My hand trembles only slightly as I fly in formation with my "friend." He thinks.... he thinks that I don't know.
Freelance Sociopath: I've only got to sell out four more of these guys for my new Tengu. That guy Praxis really came through. Bet he'd be worth a bundle to somebody.
Reflexive Hater: Scums. All these little scums. Hating lying cheating filthy scums. Turn on me. The moment they can. Scums.
The Doctor: Note how my electrodes result in a cascading effect between sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems. I have succeeded. I call it: Their Own Medicine.
Nobody likes this one. Too real maybe?
Whining Rationalizer: Um. I never did want to have to hurt anybody, but y'know, it was him or me. And I really do think its all for the best. In the end I mean.
Unblinking Fanatic: But only the filth who oppose the universal brotherhood of man will have to die in order for that brotherhood to become a reality. Its so simple.
And my personal favorite
Intraspecies Predator: And I got to do that to him for his own good? I love being me.
Open only to that rarest subsets of nerds: the biological female player of EVE. There are no double standards. Equal work for equal pay.
Succeed Or Die Screaming
Regardless of Age, Racial or Ethnic identity, Alliance Affiliation, gender, sexual identity, differently abled ability, the same standard is applied to all employees. Instead of being a Jabberwocky, an oddity, a target for unconscious adolescent inadequacies, a different species, an alien (Is Venus a Lava Planet then?) you will be judged on how well you play the game.
Equal Opportunity Employer
Praxis Astra and the management of HAMA pledge to treat every single employee without exception like a pawn, a piece to be moved around in a larger game to be tossed aside from necessity, spite, or boredom. No discrimination. No glass ceiling. No hostile work environment. And, of the manager who thinks they are important enough to ignore our Because We Say So (TM) Sensitivity Training, no trace left.
Equal Work For Equal Pay
A female player (I'm told) is in a position to put the Hearts and Minds strategies to use with terrifying and exhillerating ease. You don't have to be a woman to know that all you have to do is unbutton your top button and he won't even notice you've led him to the air lock; and if you just unbutton one more while you hack through the safety overrides; he'll stand there, hands and nose pressed against the window, eyes wide, mouth open, waiting for you to unbutton a third. If you can flush 4 victims through airlocks in the time it takes a male agent to flush 1 victim, you get paid for 4 and he gets paid for 1. Anything less is discrimination or, worse, an incentive system based on something other than results.
Have you ever wanted to be a Catherine? a femme fatale? A Medina who stops at nothing at all in order to achieve the ecstasy of the perfect revenge? Trick question. You already have. In Real Life. (Its called dating.) Now you just have to decide if you have the nerve to do it in a computer game. C'mon. You know you want to. And its low in unsaturated fats. And its delicious.
We both know that they will fear AND admire you much more if you snatch it from someone who loves it rather than create it on your own. OPEN ONLY TO PLAYERS AT THE ALLIANCE DIRECTOR AND/OR CEO OF A 50+ MEMBER CORP LEVEL. (This is a Praxis Pick Best Bargain! Remember that there is a BUILT IN SAVINGS of $1,000,000,000.00 ISK in this package.)
It really is just a three step process. Mostly it requires just patience and attention to detail. Leave the hard work to others!
2. Preparing the Executor's allies, especially any personal friends of the Executor, to be able to accept the new regine when it comes.
3. Preparing the members beforehand, especially the personal friends of the Alliance Leader, to be able to accept the new regime when it comes.
Your alliance will also be designated as immune from Smiling Friends for as long as you choose to remain there, even after you finally make it official. This alone is worth tens of billions of ISK.
We will help you create a corporation and recruit a motley crew of thieves, liars, traitors, spies, etc. Anyone can infiltrate an alliance on their own. You'll have done it with an entire corporation. And be well paid to rip up the hotel room before you check out in the morning. Just like a rock star.
Necklace of Ears
Our Decorations are not just decorative.
The Smiling Friends Social Club and Hearts And Mind Alliance stands behind our Necklace Of Ears (TM) decorations. We take painstaking care before bestowing them on anyone regardless of status. Our Glorious Leader is wise and virtuous enough to understand that this is the only way to make such worthless bits of cloth and metal priceless. On the day that even our opponents are forced to concede that our medals are, just as they can be in the RL, authentic symbols of a demanding game well played, we will have won the game we came to play.
Anyone who wants to say that they got a decoration from us that they didn't deserve is providing us with at least one of two things.
1. A wonderful traitor to add to the Death List.
2. You are telling us that you are a serious enough player that you don't mind downplaying actual accomplishments of yours in order to mess with us. You will be contacted and assigned to a higher pay grade. You probably won't get any more Decorations but you'll get on the fast track to more ISK.
At Present there are are three decorations that are public.
Hearts & Minds Scholar
Hearts & Minds Soldier
Hearts & Minds Strategist
FAQs about H&M
Q: So what's this Neurotechnicon.
A: Its a manual on destroying EVE organizations from within. Assassination. Sabotage. War in the information age. The metagame of EVE. And the meta-meta game of playing EVE "against" yourself.
Q: So Praxis where do your loyalties lie? (Our first member asked me that.)
A: With a group of players with whom I play the game. I will have none but free men in my secret society/circus/acting troupe. The loyalty granted by those who have to offer it because they can't escape from their need for a group is one thing. The loyalty offered by those who offer it purely of their own free Will is another thing entirely.
Q: And, another of your manuals, The Technocrat, what's that about?
A: A Manual on the creation, care, expansion, management, and manipulation of EVE Online corporations and alliances.
Q: This is ridiculous. You can't expect people to go to all this trouble to be part of your little crew.
A: How many people do you think I really need at the upper levels of this to get the stuff I want to get done? Five? Ten? Twenty at the very most. And I'm playing for the long term. It took me a year and a half to lay the foundations to get this far.
Q: How can you take so much time over each player?
A: Because H&M is all about quality over quantity. Even if they "joined" to betray SFSC, I'd hope they leave better able to play spy vs spy.
Q: These forums go on forever. Why should I read all this junk?
A: There are some questions that, just by asking them, you tell me it would be pointless to try to answer.
Q: So, what you are gonna use me in your evil plot to rule the Galaxy?
A: Sometimes, sure. I mean, we do want to have a project to work on in common right? But most of the time, I'm going to be happy to work on creating an environment in which you have as many options to do what you'd like to do in the game. After all, this is the only way I'll get to see what you will actually do. I'm not looking to rule New Eden. The very most I'd ever want to do with it, even if CCP offered it to me, is play with it.
Q: C'mon. Trust Praxis? Gimmme a break. How stupid do you think I am?
A: Not sure yet. But I'll tell you how stupid I'm not. I'm not stupid enough to lose track of the reality that this is a game and someone has to stand in for the player and communicate with the other players. Someone, somewhere in the organization has to be able to make trustworthy agreements on behalf of that organization. That's Praxis. I have other characters who are lying traitorous vipers, not even necessarily associated with SFSC.
Q: I'm a much more experienced player than you. Why should I join your pitiful little band?
A: Because I'm very good at what I do, which is build small groups of weird and intense people who want meet each other and work on fascinating scary stuff that few other people care about. Like performance art. Or Psychological warfare.
For all you new players who might think that Smiling Friends Social Club would not want you, Our Glorious Leader himself would like to assure you that nothing could be further from the truth. In fact you are in a unique position to launch a dual career as a character who mines or flies a battleship AND acts as an agent, helping shape events behind the scenes. You do not have a reputation yet. Your API is unblemished and with a little help you can be as pure as the dewdrops that glisten in the morning light all the way though a career that would cause Dr. Frankenstein go go pale and mutter "some things man was not meant to know."
Just about when you have decided to get into EVE online enough to start your SECOND account is when you could expect to begin an extremely entertaining and profitable career as a Smiling Friends operative.
Needless to say, members in this position can expect that extra mentoring, that avuncular presence that your bosom buddies would want to exert at this your critical phase of your EVE career.
Don't delay, ideally talk to us right before making that second account.
Wipe That Smile Off Their Face
You're just not a Real Man unless you have at least one Vendetta going.
Our Assassins are hand picked and will not be vouched for unless they have already proven themselves. Terms are as individual as your resources and your determination to wipe that smile off their faces once and for all! In many cases either the customer or assassin will wish to remain understandably anonymous. Once you have tested this service you will quickly see that at last there is a way to slaughter with impunity specific individuals who have not shown you the respect bordering on awe that anyone in their right mind would see is your rightful due.
Its just ISK. Turn it into the real coin of the realm: respect.
I have only this to say: Welcome to the team! I'm thrilled at the attention. The better you are at your job the more you will help me with quality control. And to prove that this message is Just For You, I have some data that will interest you and even HELP you in your quest to destroy us.
Why would I do that? Because I'm counting on you being, in the end, lazy and at the mercy of your own attention span. I'm guessing you've got better things to do than grind your way through the silly little mirror maze I've constructed, just below the surface of all these WORDS.
But either way it works. I get to sit in my web, just out of reach, and have the satisfaction of knowing that I even handed them the dagger(s) that could give them the decisive advantage, and they just couldn't see it.
Sweet. I'd say somewhere between chess and sex. Maybe a bit closer to the chess side. Depending on how cute you are in RL.
With a wicked smile,
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